Something for the Drive Home

NICK AND BART ARE VERY OLD AND IN A CASTLE! ARE YOU TOM CRUISE! THIS EPIsode is about sex in the jungle of the modern era. THIS IS A CAR EPISODE! HOW FAST CAN YOU THINK ABOUT THINGS xoxoxoxoxoxo XOXOXO xoxoxo 

Direct download: ftdh114.mp3
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 12:26pm EDT

GRAND MASTER DANCE OFF!! DERN DERN DERN DA DA DA!!! FEEL THE MAGIC POWER!!! LA LA LA LA LA LA

Q: Why was the blonde disappointed with her trip to England?

A: She found out Big Ben was only a clock.

AHAHAHahahHAHAHAHA SOOO Funnee guys.. USE THIS JOKE TO BECOME A WINNER AND GET MORE MONEY olOLOLolOL 

Bart and NICK Are full of beans and pants. 

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TELL UR BUDDY FRIENDS!!! 

OXOXOXXOOXOX 

XOXOXOXO 

Direct download: ftdh113.mp3
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 4:01am EDT

YEEAHAAHAHAHAH WAR TIME AND PIZZA!! 

Im not always party and adventure in the city... I think Im pretty balanced in that way.
I adore the country and the sea. I neeeeeeed it sometimes. Frolicking is quite an addictive habit. Refreshing too. The power of fresh air, whether it be salt or soil is amazing.

I love my down time, a good sauna, movie, home-cooked meal, reading, writing, phone calls to grandma (my queen), walks in the pretty park down the street, pillow forts and dog walking.
I get very excited when my friends ask me to dog sit for them. Travelling doesn't let me have a dog but I dearly love them.

I prefer summer over winter but winter has its perks. Fire places, lamb shanks and guys always look sexy in winter clothes.

Next year I plan to head to South America (where Im from) and take a look around, climb some mountains, play in waterfalls, eat amazing fruit and seafood, dance a lot, take photos, chill with some awesome animals, surf a bit, have some special moments and drink watery beer.

check out our stuff!!!

Yeah brozzz!

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Check out our hoodies and Tshirts and shit!

Tell ur bloody mates!!! DO IT!!!  

Direct download: ftdh112.mp3
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 12:44am EDT

TO BE A SNEAKY PERSON LIKE A SPY MEANS YOU DON"T WATCH LAW AND ORDER EVER!!! Always stay behind the dangerous information and use your smoke powder and whisper spirits. YOUR MISSION IS TO INFILTRATTER YOUR OWN HOUSE AND report back to yourself! If you can do this then you are surely a famous mastermind. 

BLESS THE VICTORY OF Tdawg and CHEFIATNAZ. While Nick is away there are fancy things afoot. Don't tell Nick about this shit! Let it surprise him like a beast from the dark! A joyful beast. 

Follow us on shit! 

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we have sweet hoodies and Tshirts as well

http://www.redbubble.com/people/mrfoz/works/10051070-something-for-the-drive-home?p=t-shirt

be safe like a sage wizard banker. 

Direct download: ftdh111.mp3
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 12:00am EDT

OKAY GUYSZZ!! OOOKKAAAYYYY FUUUKCKCKCINNG!!! GET THIS SHIHIITHT! SPECIALL EPISDOEZZ HERE!! KEEP UR Lips tight shut super like a mad spy master oka. FUCKCKCKC! Stay silentz and magicalg like CUNNTZTZ okay. LIKE A SPY! Juz listen and enjoy the magic of the internet and do what what sound words say. OKAY!!! UFCKING

THIS IS THE ULTRA TDAWG EDITIONSZ!!! YEAH BROZ ANG HOTAZ!! THIS IS TH EFUCKING REAL DEAL!! 

follow us on the internet okay! Do it lololololololol

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Sweet tang!!

Direct download: ftdh110.mp3
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 10:05am EDT

Important informations.

During yoga teacher training we all had a really good laugh when the only guy in our class of ten was like 'Wot's a queef?' with a genuinely bewildered expression. To be fair, he's British, and maybe it didnt quite translate.

A few days later he and I were working on our teaching and he was talking me through shoulder stand. For one moment, picture how amazing this is. I'm practicing yoga in Bali with a totally hot young Brit and I'm holding shoulderstand without a wobble. I'm so in the zen, it's unbelievable. In a word, life is perfect.

Then, on the way down when I'm dropping my toes down toward plow, I feel that sucking of air and allow myself the merest hint of panic. Surely the universe isn't that cruel. I continue to come fully out of shoulder stand...accompanied by the loudest queef you've ever heard.

I'm crushed. I turn bright red. Kyle looks stunned. There's a moment of silence - in honor of the death of my pride, I think.

"Did...did you just fart?"

"Noooooo."

I ended up explaining and dying laughing at the same time. Later, we discussed it in class and I think I'm pretty sure I know how to avoid it:

tl;dr - contract your abdominal and pelvic muscles the entire time you're in the pose. If that's too long, release it and breathe, but contract before coming out of the pose and come out slowly.

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Direct download: ftdh109.mp3
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 12:00am EDT

What you have to understand is that Russia is a very conservative country that never got around to a proper, linear sexual revolution with more things gradually becoming more acceptable. There also weren't any "waves" of feminism, as women were granted all rights and responsibilities right after the revolution and there wasn't the sort of gradual acceptance like there was in the West. Those things are related. Homosexuality was only decriminalized very recently, and taken off the list of mental illnesses very begrudgingly without much public debate around the issue. When the Soviet Union started falling apart, pretty much everything was instantly allowed, porn, prostitution, all at once were out in the open like a shock wave, so the sexuality of a typical Russian is a really weird thing.

You're expected to get married and have kids, the younger the better. There is a lot more involvement of your parents and grandparents in a traditional Russian family, many people even live with their parents after getting married and having kids, because realty is very expensive. At the same time, there is a sort of neurotic sexuality everywhere. Russians are very promiscuous. Infidelity is excepted, divorce is almost guaranteed. Sex is supposed to be that thing men do to women, too, which is a remnant of the former, more conservative times. Sex is somehow both a taboo humiliating act done to another person and a normal thing. You're expected to be sexually active, but at the same time, you're also shamed for it quite a lot. The image of any sexual deviation from a certain norm is pretty much a caricature. People confuse transsexuals, homosexuals and pedophiles, too. And this is in a country where you're not even supposed to look weird.

The prison culture also has a very strong influence. Lots of people, even educated people, know prison slang and basic laws and rules of prison life. One of those laws is that, basically, the guy who's at the end of the food chain is supposed to take it up the ass. That is a very shameful thing.

Then there is the concept of "tolerance" which is almost a swear word in the media. Basically, to distance us from the west, we are told that the West is on decline, because they allow various minorities more rights than "normal people", and they allow women too many rights, so their birth rates are down and they'll all be replaced with Arabs soon. Demographics is a very important issue here, because the population is aging and dying out. There is a derogatory term "tolerast" which is a combination of tolerant + pederast, that describes someone who would allow themselves to be dominated by all those "lesser" beings. The remnant of the idea of an outside enemy who wants to destroy mother Russia by making it weak is pretty strong, too, and a strong Russia is something people want. Then there is the issue that this is a poor country and people have a lot of bigger problems than simple social acceptance. Basically, if you can't afford to raise your children, you still have to live with your mom at 30, and your hospital has rats and no central heating, you don't have the capacity to worry about someone's feelings. Human rights activists are viewed as rich, sheltered fools like those people you might see on /r/TumblrInAction. There isn't much of an open discourse.

A whole series of laws appeared at approximately the same time, and I personally think they're a reaction to a strong forming opposition: any organization with foreign funding is supposed to register as a "Foreign agent", which does pretty much nothing, mostly affects charities and makes them seem like CIA spies; you may no longer "offend people's religious feelings", which was written specifically after the Pussy Riot thing; and then there's the law forbidding "propaganda of homosexuality and pedophilia to minors" which was later changed to "denying traditional values". Basically, it's a pretty strong ideological attack on people who aren't happy with the current government. You don't like something? You're an American spy and you want to molest children and you also take it up the ass.

THis is from reddit okay. I NEVER STOLE IT!! I GIVE FULL CREDIT TO THE INTERNET xoxoxoxoox

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Get some shirts and shIIT. TELL ur mates. 

Direct download: ftdh108.mp3
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 12:00am EDT

But examples are not enough. You need to get your feet wet in the pool of plot points (I just awarded myself 10 cheesy metaphor points). Here’s how: on Thursday, I usually post the events of blockbuster movies from all genres. Click here for an find an archive of plot points. Take my list of plot points, and write down each plot point onto an index card.

Divide these index cards into columns so that the last card in every column is either a major turning point or an Act break. If you do this regularly, you should develop an intuition for screenplay structure that will make plotting your own screenplays and writing a script outline 10 times easier.

What do you think? If you were writing a TV movie based on Charlie Sheen, what would your script outline look like?

YOU KNOW THE GUYS ARE GOOD BY NOW! JUST FOLLOW THEM AND TELL UR MATES ABOUT IT ALL!!! YEEAAHHH

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get up in that xoxoxoxoxoxoxo MISS YOUSE 

Direct download: ftdh107.mp3
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 12:00am EDT

A GRAM OF SAUCE PLEASE SIR! 

OKAY THANKS WHAT IS YOUR NAME?

HANKYTZ

THAT IS A NICE NAME MAN> ARE YOU FAMOUS?

YES I AM I AM A SONG PRINCE

PLEASE GIVE ME YOUR MAGIC

NO I NEED IT

OKAY NO

SURE

FUCCCK IT WILL

NAHAHAHAHA

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tell UR FRINEDS>Z  

Direct download: ftdh106.mp3
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 3:25am EDT

GOOSE GOOSE GOOSE!! FEEL THE FULL GOOSE! GOOSE GOOSE GOOSE UNDERSTAND THE GOOSE! 

  1. In a bowl, mix the teriyaki sauce and stir-fry sauce. Place the whitefish fillets in the mixture, and marinate for about 15 minutes.
  2. Heat the oil in a deep fryer or heavy skillet to 365 degrees F (185 degrees C).
  3. In a shallow bowl, mix the dry potato flakes, flour, seasoning salt, ancho chile seasoning, garlic powder, salt, and pepper. Place each marinated fish fillet into the mixture to evenly coat.
  4. Fry the fish in the heated oil, 1 or 2 fillets at a time, until golden brown and easily flaked with a fork, about 5 minutes.
  5. FUCK THAT FISH HARD!! FUCK IT LIKE A PRINCE DOG! FUCK
  6. Serve that sweet dish up on your table to friendly cunts. 
  7. DONT EVER DO STEP 7!!! IT IS TOOO FAR TO GO!! IF YOU ARE step 7  you are in danger. 
Direct download: ftdh105.mp3
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 7:12pm EDT